We all have skeletons in our gastronomic closets.
Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Admit it.
We all have foods that are secret favorites. Secret, I say, because we're afraid that someone we love or respect, or perhaps even a complete stranger will look at what we're stuffing into our mouths and say, "That's disgusting. How the hell can you EAT that?"
Maybe you secretly indulge in a chemical-and-preservative-and-God-knows-what-else-laced Twinkie? Or how about the hot-pink Sno Ball? Ho Hos? Ding Dongs? Mmmm.
Ooooh, or those shrink-wrapped French cream horns hidden in the corner of the grocery store bakery? You'd like those, wouldn't you? And who's going to know, right? Nobody gets hurt.
Maybe an occasional fast-food fish sandwich dripping with tartar sauce? Nice. Maybe you do the happy dance when you find that the McRib is available for a limited time only?
Delicious nastiness? Or nasty deliciousness? Who's to say?
So let's all air our dirty laundry, shall we?
And I'll be the first to step to the plate with my dirty little secret: The Cheeseburger Big Bite.
The CBB is available only at 7-Eleven, the preeminent chain of convenience stores in the area where I lived before moving to Cincinnati. I was sad to learn that there are no 7-Elevens in the Tri-State, so if I stumble across one while traveling, I stop in.
I developed my shameful addiction in the days when I regularly came home late after theater rehearsals. Nothing else was open, so I stopped by the 7-Eleven just around the corner. I don't know exactly what possessed me to try the Cheeseburger Big Bite. It's a safe assumption, however, that I must have been pretty hungry.
The CBB almost defies description. It's a cheeseburger...shaped like a hot dog. The meat (if one can call it that) is pre-mixed with cheese, pre-cooked, and then frozen. They're warmed in the store on the roller grill warmer thingy found in most convenience stores. (You've seen them...with the shriveled wieners that look like they've been warming since the Clinton administration.)
Last week, Julie and I were on vacation in New York when I had the idea for this post. There's a 7-Eleven on 42nd Street, just around the corner from our hotel. I dragged her there without telling her what I was up to.
I asked the clerk for a CBB.
By itself, the CBB looks fairly harmless.
But what I love about 7-Eleven is free condiments. Add mustard and onions. Still fairly innocuous.
But here is where it gets ugly. "Free condiments" also includes all-you-can-slop-on nacho cheese (also known as preservative-laced processed cheese food-type product) and a go at the automated-dispenser chili (also known as...God knows what).
Although Julie didn't say much, I could read her horror-stricken face: "That's disgusting. How the hell can you EAT that?"
And talk about tasty.
Did indigestion ensue? You bet. Do I realize that these things have more monodihydrogenated gleuteonitrate that the average human should consume in four lifetimes? Absolutely. Wouldn't have it any other way. So save your breath.
There. I feel better.
Now, it's your turn. Confession is good for the soul. What is your secret shame in the food world?
(P.S. -- By the way, on this same trip to 7-Eleven, Julie was able to indulge one of her own guilty pleasures: The Slurpee.)
50 comments:
I almost snorted a mouthfull of water through my nose!
last summer I had a craving big time for a Ding-Dong but I was worried it wouldn't live up to my expectations so I never indulged.
OMG. That looks awful.
I will confess my secret love for.... wait for it.... peanut butter -n- pickle sandwiches.
It's true. I do not remember when I started eating them but I can't remember ever not eating them either.
There is something tasty about the crunchy peanut butter mixed with the dill pickle.
Please don't disown me.
Pigs in a blanket.. LOVE THEM.
pizza, lots of pizza. If no one's watching, I'll go through 4-5 slices in one seating. Thankfully I've graduated from La Rosas to the real stuff, Dewey's! No offense to the la rosas fans. Dewey's offers toppings like roasted garlic and oyster mushrooms, who doesn't like roasted garlic?
liberal foodie, I'm the same way. I love Dewey's and I just discovered Mac's in Clifton. I'll post about it soon-- it was really good (goat cheese and garlic, yum)!
Fried bologna (from a chub and in butter), with yellow mustard and cheap white bread, preferably toasted. I do have standards!
or...if on a Sunday,
Fried bologna (in butter), scrambled eggs, a sheet of american cheese and chopped onions.
(wife won't let me make the Fried bologna if she's in the house. I usually will do a side of brusselsprouts too. Wife hates the smell of those too-but loves sauerkraut. What gives???)
I've always wondered about those cheeseburger hotdogs. I'll admit, it looks almost appetizing topped with onions and nacho cheese.
I eat nothing disgusting because I'm a perfect lady.
I have one word for you, Kasmira:
PEEPS.
I have seen you with a mouth full of air-puffed marshmallow. :P
off topic but when did King Dons become Ding Dongs? And what gives? No more aluminum foil?? My childhood shot to hell! lol
Bologna and ketchup sandwiches on white bread. It takes me back to my childhood. I had a craving for them this week in fact.
I also like a good gummy worm, too.
shannanb--I had heard of the PB&P sandwich, but I thought they existed only in my mythology textbook at school. (Hephaestus, maybe? Or is it Tyndareus?)
toddy-o--Are you a Southerner? At least in spirit? I grew up on fried bologna for breakfast! Lots of Southerners do. My sister (who still lives in rural northeast Alabama) mentioned to me on the phone recently that she had just finished "frying off" some bologna for breakfast. The first time I mentioned it to a non-Southerner, the person looked at me as if I had just bitten the head off a puppy...a combination of shock, horror, and disgust. I've been hesitant to mention it ever since.
And the whole cheap white bread thing! I've developed a palate for good bread as an adult. But there are some things for which only good, cheap, gooey, store-brand white bread will do. Julie and I almost had our first fight this past weekend. We had just bought peppered bacon and some gorgeous fresh tomatoes at Findlay Market and decided to go back to her place to make BLTs. I wanted store-brand white bread...because that's what you use for BLTs, by God. Julie wanted crusty peasant bread. Before blows were exchanged, we compromised. We decided to stop by Shadeau bakery and pick up a loaf of their French white bread. (I did, however, buy a loaf of Kroger white sandwich bread for tomato sandwiches for lunch today.)
Kasmira--You've seen CBBs in the Cincinnati area? Where?
A few things:
I like bologna sandwiches. Fried only. Non-fried is gross.
And I do like ketchup on it. I told Terry that and he said it was disgusting. Win!
I do not, in general, like gooshy white bread. I like my bread to have substance. I grew up on rye bread-- various forms, including semi-gooshy Klosterman rye. I DO like bakery white bread-- "country white" or something like that. One of my favorite snacks growing up was rye bread with margarine. Seriously.
Wow! I had completely and totally forgotten that I used to eat fried bologna sandwiches. I grew up in Texas; had no idea that was a southern thing. I also ate pork rinds until I went to college in Connecticut, and my roommate pointed out to me that they were indeed PIG SKINS. I do still remember them tasting good, but could never bring myself to eat them after that!
Sorry, I have no more guilty food pleasures. My younger daughter and I bake a lot from scratch now, and I do probably eat too much sugar. I can go through a 5-pound bag in a week or two -- but I do have a husband and three teenagers helping me!
Deborah-- when I had a brief flirtation with the Atkins diet (never again!) I ate pork rinds and they were pretty tasty. I, however, refuse to give up any food group, so no low carbing for me.
OK, here's my sinful confession as well. If boyfriend can be brave and tell the world, so can I. As a child, living in a small town in Indiana, raised amongst God-fearing, Baptist southerners, I ate many wonderful things. Pinto beans and cornbread (still my personal favorite), fried green tomatos, fried potatos, heck fried everything were just a few of my mealtime options. One of my favs was fixed lovingly for me by my Uncle Deck. We had lunch together many times and he would serve me the best ham, mayo, mustard and peanut butter sandwich you've ever had. Wait, maybe you've never had it at all. You should try it before you act all self-righteous. I bet you're going to say you've never had a banana and mayo sandwish either... Come On...you know you want to try it.
Anon--I can tell that your parents were from down South. Pintos & cornbread? Yum. I have green tomatoes on my countertop just waiting to be fried. That's not nasty...that's fine cusine, y'all.
Everytime I have a grilled cheese - and it's about once every two weeks - it has to be topped with jelly...preferably strawberry or raspberry or something red. Grape's okay in a pinch, but it's not quite right.
And every time, my wife looks at me like I have a second head growing out of my neck.
Am I alone in the grilled cheese with jelly thing?
That hot dog (or whatever it is) looks perfectly normal to me....free cheese and chili? How can you go wrong?
My guilty pleasure......I'll have a donut once and awhile. Since I make donuts for a living, I tend to make off the chain stuff to try out. My favorite donut lately?
I'll deep fry an unbaked croissant, glaze it on both sides, and drizzle it with white and choc icing.
It's probably 2200 calories, but damn they sure are good:-)
Wife is also quite puzzled and says "what the hell is that?" when I fix "City Chicken". It's almost hard to find in stores these days.
Taco Bell when I'm sober.
I mean drunk, you can get a pass, but sober?
And I'm questioning my love for shannanb right now: PB and Pickles? You might be an alien life form.
phschemguy--I've never had jelly on a grilled cheese, but I might actually try it sometime. I love a good Monte Cristo sandwich, which is just a battered ham (or turkey) and Swiss cheese sandwich fried to a golden brown. Whenever I order them in restaurants they're almost always served with a side of jam or preserves. If they don't offer jam, preserves, or something sweet with the MCS, I always ask for it. (I've even seen them served with syrup.)
toddy-o--OK. I'll bite. What's "city chicken"?
donut guy--What kind of donuts do you make? I kill for good donuts...glazed (or sugared), hot and fresh out of the oil
Amy-- I agree. Taco Bell is drunk food.
PHSChemGuy-- See The Boyfriend's response. That actually sounds kind of good.
Todd-- City Chicken. I think my grandma made that for us once and we all hated it. What a waste of good veal! ;)
Again...what the hell is city chicken?
Sweetie-- City Chicken is cubes of veal and/or pork (usually pork) on a skewer, breaded and fried like chicken.
You can get it at Kroger on the west side of town, usually. Haven't seen it at HP Kroger.
Um...OK. But why "city chicken"?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_chicken
A sort-of answer.
Wow. Who knew?
2 words: Funny Bones. Pure chocolate & peanut butter goodness.
Terry - to answer a couple of your questions...
I'm born/raised a Lovelander. My dad was raised during the depression around Clendenin, West Virginia and Osborne Falls, West Virginia. A lot of influence from the WV farm-kale, fried bologna, potted meat and mayo on white and the illustrious city chicken. Always with pork cubes with saltine cracker breading.
oooh, mac's. Where is that? What type of food? I guess you'll go over that in the post.
I just discovered the rooster man or something like that in Clifton. I never knew it existed on Ludlow. Have you been there?
Mac's is a pizza place!
Proud Rooster-- I haven't been, but I hear they do a mean breakfast.
Potted meat?!?!? OMG! I grew up eating that stuff too, although it was with mustard on white bread. And that same college roommate in Connecticut read the ingredients on the potted meat can and ruined that for me too! I just couldn't eat it after I knew that it included stuff like kidneys, tongue, etc.
Ok, I am going with Liver & Onions. I love it and only get it when I go out to eat. But I often do not get it as I feel it may offend others with whom I am eating.
City Chicken was a staple in our house. I still love it and I make it fairly regularly. We fry it in a skillet but then put it in the oven to finish baking. Avril's has it. Growing up it was always made with veal. Not sure if Avril's has pork in it or not.
The bad news, Big Boy and Onion rings dipped in tartar sauce. The good news is I only have it a few times a year.
I love the chocolate-frosted "Donettes". I could eat half a box in one sitting if I let myself. (It's my go-to "I'm feeling sorry for myself" food.)
And I love, love, LOVE summer sausage. You know, the Hilshire Farm kind that you get in gift baskets at Christmas?!
Ok. This is fun. I have another one. When I was younger my best friend's mom would take salami, spread cream cheese on it and then wrap it around a pickle. She would then slice it into rounds and serve as appetizers.
They were so freakin' good.
I promise I do not only eat meals that involve pickles.
phschemguy-totally love the cheese & jam combo. my 4 yr old actually was the creator of this in our household. I figure it's not far from a baked brie w/ jam, right? I personally have always dipped my grilled cheese (sans jam, of course) in mustard. Hubby thinks I'm crazy.
Truly, I'm a sucker for donuts. I love them, but very rarely eat them. But, I've also been seen eating a deep fried oreo at the Indiana State Fair. Oh my goodness, it was tasty. I think I grossed out several in-laws. It was so worth it!
Toddy-O--I'm originally from NKy & also grew up on city chix. Ours was the pork variety. I can't imagine eating it now. Hubby's from Indianapolis & had never heard of it. I guess it's regional.
I'm salivating over this. And I feel almost guilty about it!
OK, here are a few:
Oatmeal Ring: This is an old-time, Cincinnati German thing. Basically, it is goetta, stuffed into a natural casing, and lightly smoked. Avril's on Court Street is the only place left, that I know of, still carrying it. Cut off a 6" length, make a longitudinal slit in the casing, remove and discard casing, and bronze the remainder in a non-stick skillet.
Corned Beef hash: Grew up on the canned stuff, and still like it, if fried to a crunch. Had some home-made stuff recently in Connecticut, which was good, very mild, but a little heavy on onion and light on potato.
Potato Chips and Ketchup dipping sauce: I started this in grade school, for what reason I know not why. Take a dollop of ketchup, add a healthy splash of Lee and Perrins Worcestershire sauce, and a good splash of Tabasco sauce to kick it up. Start with a cup of said sauce and a good sized bag of your favorite chips. Mmmm.
Sliders: Need no explanation. ;-)
Seems like a universally appealing topic! My skeletons all come out of the closet when I go on a road trip and I'm faced with a selection of chips, candy and sodas at a gas station somewhere in a midwestern cornfield.
Number one on the list: Chic-o-sticks. It's pretty much the inside of a butterfinger, all peanut buttery and sugary. Yum. I can feel my cavities tingling.
deborah and toddy-o--Potted meat was another staple when I was growing up...again, toddy-o, on good gooey white bread. I'll bet I haven't had it in thirty years or longer. Hmmmm...I'm going to Kroger this afternoon. Maybe...
lauren--I love the donettes, too. I tend to buy the full-sized versions of them, however. With a few swigs of milk, it's one of my go-to snacks when I'm wrestling with insomnia at 2 a.m.
dan--Liver & onions is also an old favorite. It's so hard to find nowadays. And I would never attempt it at home.
shannanb--Pickle, cream cheese, and salami. Sounds like deli food at its best.
blackbird--We had the canned version of corned beef hash regularly when I was a kid. Again, I haven't had it in 20 years or longer. It was only a few years ago that I discovered that it's used more as a breakfast food than anything else (we always had it for dinner...OK, "supper"). It's now one of my favorites--with a poached egg on top--whenever I visit the Cafe Edison in New York.
Allison-- Oh, me too. I'm a big fan of diet Dr. Pepper, Fritos Flavor Twist Honey BBQ, and gummi SOMETHING-- either sweet-and-sour worms, bears, life savers-- doesn't matter. Yum.
Blackbird-- I will note that he didn't get the corned beef hash the LAST time he was in NY. But that's a post. :)
allson--You really can find the best junk food at out-of-the-way gas stations, can't you? And I love Chic-o-sticks; they were also my mom's favorite candy.
allison--Sorry for the typo I made on your name.
To clarify: Terry has admitted TWO horrible foods; the CBB and the cheese sauce are both so disgusting they have to be considered individually.
Proud Rooster: Owned by Bush/Cheney fans, if anyone cares about that.
I like liver & onions, fried chicken livers, tongue, ho-hos, White Castle and beef jerky.
Ooh, this isn't processed-disgusting, but I know a lot of Americans are squicked out by organ meat and snails.
I LOVE escargot. In fact, if I knew I could get some decent snails (I'm guessing Jungle Jim's), I would make escargot bourgignone (supremely easy to make)tonight. There is nothing working for the little bite of snail, then emptying the garlicky butter in to the dish and sopping it up with bread. I'm pretty sure that at least 75% of the dinners I had in Paris with Terry involved me getting escargot. Yum yum.
Some people find foie gras (or any sort of liver) disgusting. I love that too-- pan seared please. I think you guys know that though, since Terry and I had our foie gras fest earlier this year.
This is a bit processed, but I do love liverwurst, particularly braunschweiger. My grandmother would die if she knew I was eating it now (I hated it as a kid) but mmm. Braunschweiger.
Oh! I forgot! Donut Guy- some bakery around here, I'm not sure which, used to do deep-fried croissants covered with donut glaze. The outside were super crispy and a dark golden brown, and the insides were soft and almost squishy. HEAVEN. You should make some. And send them to me. :)
Where do you get your braunschweiger? And why didn't you express your excitement at seeing it featured in my sandwich post?
blackbird, did not know about the oatmeal rings, will have to try, have you had Avril's ham salad, to die for, their new smoked sandwich is also.
the boyfriend, try the liver at Jeanros
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